Friday, December 30, 2005
Don't Read It
Words: mostly Henry
Music: Henry
This one's about things you shouldn't read. And some other stuff that rhymes.
Lyrics:
Chemistry textbooks - don't read it
The fine print - don't read it
The dead sea scrolls - don't read it
Roadsigns - don't read it
Chorus:
There's lots of stuff that you better not read
And the world is full of hidden dangers
So why not do, what your mom to you to
And never read from strangers
Nutritional facts - don't read it
Stereo instructions - don't read it
Braille - don't read it
Other people's minds - don't read it
Chorus
Bridge:
Reading is bad for you
Reading is what you better not do
Reading could cause your hidden end
Reading...please take heed
And never ever ever read
Or else you'll see the steeble will be remmed
Or else you'll see the steeble will be remmed
Silica gel - don't eat it
Auto parts - don't eat it
Auto people - don't eat it
Garbage - don't eat it
Chorus
Gremlins after midnight - don't feed it
Michael Jackson - don't beat it
Cookie dough - don't knead it
Guilty - don't plead it
Chorus
Bridge
Bonus:
Typing the lyrics to this just made me very, very happy. This song is brilliant in so many ways. Henry makes most of it up as he goes along. It also contains a version of the phrase "Rem the Steeble." I can't tell you what that means, but we used to scream it a lot. And it drove Big Al crazy. And that's the main reason why we did it.
Words: mostly Henry
Music: Henry
This one's about things you shouldn't read. And some other stuff that rhymes.
Lyrics:
Chemistry textbooks - don't read it
The fine print - don't read it
The dead sea scrolls - don't read it
Roadsigns - don't read it
Chorus:
There's lots of stuff that you better not read
And the world is full of hidden dangers
So why not do, what your mom to you to
And never read from strangers
Nutritional facts - don't read it
Stereo instructions - don't read it
Braille - don't read it
Other people's minds - don't read it
Chorus
Bridge:
Reading is bad for you
Reading is what you better not do
Reading could cause your hidden end
Reading...please take heed
And never ever ever read
Or else you'll see the steeble will be remmed
Or else you'll see the steeble will be remmed
Silica gel - don't eat it
Auto parts - don't eat it
Auto people - don't eat it
Garbage - don't eat it
Chorus
Gremlins after midnight - don't feed it
Michael Jackson - don't beat it
Cookie dough - don't knead it
Guilty - don't plead it
Chorus
Bridge
Bonus:
Typing the lyrics to this just made me very, very happy. This song is brilliant in so many ways. Henry makes most of it up as he goes along. It also contains a version of the phrase "Rem the Steeble." I can't tell you what that means, but we used to scream it a lot. And it drove Big Al crazy. And that's the main reason why we did it.
Pregnant Head
Words: Randy (I guess)
Music: Henry
This is Krotch's new favorite song. Obviously.
Lyrics:
Ready?
Pregnant Head
Don't put it in your ear again
Let me put it in your rear again
Watch out for Timothy
He's coming after you
Dressed himself up like a shoe
Went to the shoestore, tried him on
(stop making me laugh)
Gabraham Lincoln
Middle name is Butt-rot
(I'm strugglin')
Explainer:
This one, I can't explain. Gabraham Lincoln, obvioulsy, is Gabe. Why his middle name is Butt-rot, I don't know. We explore this in further detail in the song Missle Command. Good luck.
Words: Randy (I guess)
Music: Henry
This is Krotch's new favorite song. Obviously.
Lyrics:
Ready?
Pregnant Head
Don't put it in your ear again
Let me put it in your rear again
Watch out for Timothy
He's coming after you
Dressed himself up like a shoe
Went to the shoestore, tried him on
(stop making me laugh)
Gabraham Lincoln
Middle name is Butt-rot
(I'm strugglin')
Explainer:
This one, I can't explain. Gabraham Lincoln, obvioulsy, is Gabe. Why his middle name is Butt-rot, I don't know. We explore this in further detail in the song Missle Command. Good luck.
How Much Gas?
Words: Randy
Music: Henry
I don't remember too much about the Chelsea Apartment tapes. I know Mikey Quinn was there with some friends (or maybe just one). I know we drank a few bottles of George Dickel. I think that may have been the night that Mike's girlfriend tried to turn white wine into red wine by putting red hots in it. I think later that night when Kerry said she was going to the store to get another box of wine, I protested, "but we have a second one in the firdge." But it turns out, we drank that one, too. Mostly during the recording of songs, we were playing nintendo, so some nintendo games get mentioned. And at the end of almost all of them, Mikey says something awesome.
Lyrics:
How much gas will it take to fill the room
Until I asphyxiate and die?
How much gas will come out of my ass
'till it fills up the room and I die?
(this's your part, it's your part)
gas...gas...gas...
Let's find out, right now
I'll start farting, here's how...
Randy: That's probly the worst song...
Henry: You're so cut off.
Randy: ...in the history of recorded music.
Mikey: It wasn't bad, actually.
Words: Randy
Music: Henry
I don't remember too much about the Chelsea Apartment tapes. I know Mikey Quinn was there with some friends (or maybe just one). I know we drank a few bottles of George Dickel. I think that may have been the night that Mike's girlfriend tried to turn white wine into red wine by putting red hots in it. I think later that night when Kerry said she was going to the store to get another box of wine, I protested, "but we have a second one in the firdge." But it turns out, we drank that one, too. Mostly during the recording of songs, we were playing nintendo, so some nintendo games get mentioned. And at the end of almost all of them, Mikey says something awesome.
Lyrics:
How much gas will it take to fill the room
Until I asphyxiate and die?
How much gas will come out of my ass
'till it fills up the room and I die?
(this's your part, it's your part)
gas...gas...gas...
Let's find out, right now
I'll start farting, here's how...
Randy: That's probly the worst song...
Henry: You're so cut off.
Randy: ...in the history of recorded music.
Mikey: It wasn't bad, actually.
Henry's gettin' stupid again. so I guess I need to update.
Papal Visit
Words: Randy and Jonas
Music: Randy
The pope was coming to new jersey, or something, and everyone was freaking out about it. I didn't see what the big deal was. I just wanted some clean dishes and silverware to eat with. All over the TV and newspapers, it was all about the papal visit. I thought it would be nice if he stopped by to do our dishes. We sure as hell weren't going to do it.
Lyrics:
We got lots of dirty dishes in the sink
That ain't too cool now is it?
It's really gettin' kinda nasty in here
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Couldn't find a spoon to eat my cheerios
I think the message is implicit
Something's gotta be done rather quickly
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Chorus:
The Pope can do our dishes
He can use a grubby, grubby sponge
The Pope, he can do our dishes
Because he's always on the run
Well our place ain't that nasty, no
So why you gotta go and diss it?
I guess it could use a little bit of cleaning though
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Chorus
Bridge:
Well the pope likes bob hope
'cause bob hope grows the dope
he takes a boat across the moat
and climbs up on the rope
now upon the rope, he takes the dope
and gives it to the pope
they smoke some bowls
and eat some rolls
and eat some cantaloupe
Chorus
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...etc.
Endnotes:
I think that pretty much speaks for itself. I will add that I wrote it before I knew "rolls" was a drug, too. So here, the pope is just smoking weed and eating bread and fruit with bob hope, not "rolling."
Papal Visit
Words: Randy and Jonas
Music: Randy
The pope was coming to new jersey, or something, and everyone was freaking out about it. I didn't see what the big deal was. I just wanted some clean dishes and silverware to eat with. All over the TV and newspapers, it was all about the papal visit. I thought it would be nice if he stopped by to do our dishes. We sure as hell weren't going to do it.
Lyrics:
We got lots of dirty dishes in the sink
That ain't too cool now is it?
It's really gettin' kinda nasty in here
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Couldn't find a spoon to eat my cheerios
I think the message is implicit
Something's gotta be done rather quickly
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Chorus:
The Pope can do our dishes
He can use a grubby, grubby sponge
The Pope, he can do our dishes
Because he's always on the run
Well our place ain't that nasty, no
So why you gotta go and diss it?
I guess it could use a little bit of cleaning though
It's a damn good thing about the papal visit
Chorus
Bridge:
Well the pope likes bob hope
'cause bob hope grows the dope
he takes a boat across the moat
and climbs up on the rope
now upon the rope, he takes the dope
and gives it to the pope
they smoke some bowls
and eat some rolls
and eat some cantaloupe
Chorus
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...
I like the pope, the pope smokes dope...etc.
Endnotes:
I think that pretty much speaks for itself. I will add that I wrote it before I knew "rolls" was a drug, too. So here, the pope is just smoking weed and eating bread and fruit with bob hope, not "rolling."
